Dancer, singer, reader, geek....

I don't want this to turn into some kind of dateline, but i have made some massive discoveries about love this week. I wouldn't blog any of this except i know he will never find me here! (cue evil laugh and running from Boy!)
I have been lucky enough to see Boy this week, as anyone in a long distance relationship will know, months become kind of...do-able...they shouldnt, but they do somehow. I am now in that phase of being separated again (only till the 9th dec tho) and i am in that stupid phase of *can't live without, have no idea how i ever did to begin with*, very annoying. That piled on top of the fact that i haven't slept in 48 hours! If anyone has any tips on how to sleep in economy on a plane when you are NOT a sitting up sleeper i'd love to hear them!
But no, back to love. We had a rather large bust up and although i wouldn't always recommend a drunken bust up (especially in the Bahamas where the heat does the job for you!), this one worked..i was listened to, i got all my pent up crap out and he actually listened! (nearly fell to floor in dead swoon!)
So yes, the drink gave me the impetus to give him a total piece of my mind, one he took willingly this time and i actually heard the L word which i haven't heard for a while and was beginning to doubt.

See, these boys only need reminding they are being doushebags and occasionally they come through!

My discovery on the whole? Love doesn't have to be talked about all the time...this i knew, but really, when you don't say it all the time, 24/7. on the phone, off the phone, it means more...and i mean MUCH more...

I'm such a stupid soppy romantic at heart.....

So it would seem i actually do like people after all! After a week of being completely on my own this week, only going out for work and the odd social occasion i have come to the conclusion that actually being on my own is only something i do for my own sanity not because it's my favourite thing!
Who knew eh? the girl who enjoys alone time..i actually went shopping a blew loads of money today and my brain was lie *there's lots of people in malls, great idea*....trust me, NOT the way i operate usually.....

Having one of those days...

Stayed in bed until a positively ungodly hour today, have had a week of shows and was quite frankly shattered not to mention i had an ear infection which kept me from truly whipping my head during the show last night (doesn't sound that trivial to someone who doesn't dance, but trust me, on stage, that whip looks goood!)
Then i find that the antibiotics i took last night and this morning in that lovely dosage that plunges you into moronville has given me a really bad neck alongside making me feel like i have been sedated all day! Seriously, i had to down a whole bottle of lucozade to get my arse back in gear..barely remember eating my lunch!
Can only imagine what kind of disaster i would have been on stage had today not been a day off...funny i imagine to the bystander,but not so much for my fellow shufflers!

Moral being...check the side effects of antibiotics! arh!

And now a question...why on earth do things come at once? I have been in contact with an agent about a job which could potentially be amazing if it all went through, but i think i have thoroughly pissed boyfriend off as it would seriously derail our Xmas plans aka our only time to see each other again for any length of time.
He didn't sound overly happy with me, and i will admit to being slightly pissed that i'm the one who has to feel guilty...of COURSE i want to be with him at Xmas,more than anthing, but i haven't crippled myself for years at this business we call show just to say no to things. But then where is the balance? One part of your life starts to get interesting and then the other part goes bananas.

Cue my not amused face.....

Remembered i hadn't updated in like forever! That's what you get for being on tour. Ok, so it's a tour of my own fair (and incredibly rainy) country but therein lies the problems. When you tour elsewhere, your accomodation is paid for and arranged by someone with (you would think!) more skills than me and my own poor car doesn't get ragged within an inch of her life.
Now don't misunderstand me, i love my job, i love performing (even when the audience is oap filled and the clapping is half assed) but this travelling business...well, i do it, but it doesn't mean i have to like it.
One more week though, well, 8 more shows, one double day left and then some serious physiotherapy is needed! I killed my foot months ago in an audition and it's still not at all what it should be.See, a normal person would admit defeat and say *actually, i like my foot, i need it, i will just cancel my place on tour and rest it* but then who said i was normal?! I'm actually a little convinced it might be stress fractured, and i have re-twisted the ligaments at least twice this tour so i am being a tad mean to foot.Strapping her up to immobility, taking the ibuprofen and shuffling...she's never going to forgive me....

So i am still quite fascinated by the man i met last night. No, it's wasn't a *fancy-able* thing, my boyfriend was the one who found him.

Let me Start again.

I was at a Wine festival in Villanova, Italia, and on the way back through the small cobbled ancient streets, Boyfriend starts talking to friends he hasn't seen for a while. Suddenly i'm called over to speak to a guy he introduces as *Baby, he's english like you!*

Well, of course i didn't believe him ,but once we'd gotten over the initial fake accents, he asked where i was from, and amazingly, my home town's name was on his passport!!
Well, we get to talking and this man is just the classic example of a lifetime of drug taking. My other friend noticed he was drunk, but i assured her, that wasn't drunk, that was high from many many years of being high.

I talked and he slurred but we got to finding out that he's been in circus training and street performing for years and he's been to all the major druid festivals, Avebury, Glastonbury etc etc.

But really, he was bloody fascinating, completely off his head, but fascinating none the less....

I love meeting randoms, especially ones who are just intriguing as hell...

we had a some amazing lightening here earlier,tried to get a pic or some video but as always with lightening it's so unpredictable you can't prepare properly..... now i'm sat watching the boyfriend play the x-box (i don't mind, i get to do my own things) and wondering why the hell the headache that has plagued me for days now keeps coming back!! i think it may be something i am eating, that can happen right?!
Have been rampaging Ebay for a couple of days too, that part at the end when there is 4 minutes to go and you can't bid too quickly or you lose your slot to win, or (as happened earlier) you lose out on that cosmetic BARGAIN because the damn Macbook punked out at the opportune moment!!!!!!! *gah*
Question: How can you get a true bargain on Ebay when there are so many tigers waiting to pounce at the last minute? it drives the price sky high and makes me go all panicky! So is there a trick?! if someone knows i want to know!

Also, a solution to the headache problem would be greatly appreciated.

thanks....

I was sat out in the sun today absolutely toasting myself, i had all the gear, the oil, the lotion, the book and just as i settle myself onto my front to toast sunny side down, i feel spots of water.
Now, boyfriend's house is the bottom one of a higher block (not high-rise you understand) and there are kids up there who throw things (small cow with a zip up his back anyone?) so i naturally assumed one of them had something to do with this!
No..wrong, it was rain, and it really got going, i am sat in a bikini in the scorching hot sun, while it rains, like Mother Nature herself took pity on my hot-state and sent something to cool me.

Quite impressed, and also a little freaky as i was reading a Weather Warden's book by Rachel Caine and it all felt very coincidental.....

Have also realised no matter how much boyfriend wants to believe he is in control of everything, i really think he doesn't have time down. I think maybe i should start reminding him of time because i am sure this time i have a much better handle on it.....

Right, i feel as though i am getting a hold on this blogging thing now. I have been reading so many things owing to the fact that i am on holiday and therefore have way too much time on my hands between sunning sessions (yes, be jealous it's bloody gorgeous here in italy ;)
Yesterday was my introduction to Lilith Saintcrow's website and blog and it's just brilliant (http://www.lilithsaintcrow.com) ....hours of fun to be had by all! I nearly fell off my chair laughing about the whole *Queryfail* thing...i of course like any human being would love to be able to ream off novel length creations but now; a. i would be terrified of looking like a complete idiot, and b. well, i can't really write blogs so novels would just go out the window!

It does speak volumes though about how well you need to know your career of choice. I am sure i know many things about the entertainment industry (including things not good for human hearing in general) that a lot of people don't..hell, i've been involved with it both as a child and as an adult professionally for over 20 years now, i should know what the hell is happening. But i have become completely obsessed with the publishers and authors behind the books i love so much owing probably to the fact that i now know at least one author ;) fascinating lot you are, and probably just as cut throat as my lot...well, hopefully not as vile as them, but close and all in the name of art!

Already managing to wind myself up about boyfriends narrow mind! I don't like his music much either so he can just bugger off! Whining done..on to the next!
I think it may be time to admit I am slightly obsessed with rachel caines
Weather warden series...what a lovely way to spend the afternoon after
Waking up with a rather good looking man next to you..what more could a girl
Ask for eh?! And I am looking forward to downloading the various songs
Suggested at the back of the book, I love it when there is a soundtrack
Involved! Geeeeeek!

I have had a few people say to me that they would read a blog it i happened to do one...well, i have tried these things before and im just not that good but now? well, a girl can try anything once right? so from now on, expect ramblings, a load of rubbish from my head and list of every book i adore and am either reading or trying to read ...oh and some serious Wolverine loving...Jackman appreciation also comes with that.

Duh

Posting over a couple of things i thought i had lost on Photobucket...it won't give me my password to my email so i have bookmarked everything!!!

A little check on the mobile device...testing! X
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

I have spent the entire weekend absolutely raving to some incredible music...i didn't even have tickets for the damn event originally and there i was in the end at both days! I am not a festival goer per se, but i could definately be persuaded now...my own personal highlights being The Script, those lovely irish boys who just make me scream like a dodgy fan girl at a Take That concert! I also did something i thought i would never do and that was rave like a dirty little mosher to The Prodigy! Legendary status and there they were in my home town at this amazing weekend event...they were so loud they blew all their amps! the whol stage goes down! got very squashed but was very happy to have been involved...even if i was gross and had Bacardi breezer in my hair courtesy of some chump and the back throwing things..........

I do love a good lazy day i went to an audition yesterday..was supposed to go to another today but i don't think i want the job even if i was lucky enough to get it,and sods law says if i dont want it, i'd get it and turning it down would be very unprofessional. Getting ahead of myself eveidently! Today and tomorrow then are *dry days* as i have just told someone, days that involve nothing, maybe a coffee and guily for not doing something more productive with my time. But its so easy to get stuck there when i know i am on a contract next week...thank goodness i booked that physio appointment for my poor destroyed neck!
The Cat is asleep on the end of the bed, all is quiet and i think a nice Third Watch dvd would go down nicely...gotta love my new/old obsession!

...

I know i don't have much of a friend base re-established yet but this is in case anyone sees this thru Caly etc!! It would appear i can no longer go online as Disco_Dazzler, i think they deleted my account!!! Damnitt!! so if anyone wants me i'm on the Yahoo messenger as Lightengale

Dazz xxx

Hey,
Anyone who sees this is a person i have found and think i know! LOL! If you guys see anyone else i should add here (i may have lost ID names etc) lemme know!!! I was known as Disco_Dazzler in the old X-Files chat rooms in Yahoo!

Dazz xxx